Bad Spending Habits
Ok, so, it’s currently 2:10 in the morning, and all I can think about is how I wish I was different. Today, after my class, I went to Target to pick up my meds. I felt pretty proud of myself for not buying anything! I had a sleep sack picked out for my daughter, but I put it back because I could buy one from a thrift store for cheaper. Then, since I’m going to Florida in a few weeks for family vacation, I figured “hey, I’ll stop at a thrift store for some new clothes!”
…
I walked out $42 later and only bought one shirt. (To be fair, it is super cute! I could totally pair it with some denim shorts or some jeans!) Anyways, I found myself wandering around looking at pretty much everything, and there it was: a craft aisle. Basically Heaven for me. So, I’m looking in this big bucket of stamps and I pick out some cute ones in a pack! I thought they’d be perfect coming up for spring because they were all flowers. Then, I found a Cricut shapes cartridge. Which, I’ve been wanting to learn how to use my mom’s Cricut! Perfect! I can get this to actually learn on! Then I found a couples activity book, which was perfect for date night. And of course, I wandered over to the movies. I’ve been planning on plugging in my old DVD player so I can try to go away from streaming services. And I found 2 movies: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and Hairspray. Then I walked over to the checkout line, picked up a coloring book on the way there, and checked out.
So… here’s the thing. The shirt, perfect. The stamps, great. The Cricut cartridge? Doesn’t work with the Cricut we have. The activity book was good, we tried it out tonight and I liked it. The movies? We already had both of them. And, the coloring book was good, but I have coloring books at home already.
I spent $11 on things I can’t use, $10 on the coloring book I didn’t need, and $12 on the book and stamps that I could have saved my money on.
Why am I like this?
I’ve been so caught up in the person I want to be: someone who crafts, thrifts, shops locally and recycles old clothing to get more use out of them. And then I look in the mirror to see that I’m just a jumbled up mess. I want to do crafts, but at the end of the day I’m too tired, or I get distracted during the day when I do have time. I want to shop at thrift stores and small businesses, but I end up spending more money to get more items that I don’t need. Like girl get yourself out of the store! Buy what you need and LEAVE!
It’s not fair. I just wish I could have more money or honestly even just a sense of self control. I see everyone else is able to budget or say “no” to what they don’t need. So now, I’m not allowing myself to go shopping alone anymore. I need to have someone there to keep me on track of buying simply what I need. And, I can allow myself a small reward (like a movie or trinket) if it’s reasonably priced.
Hey, at least I didn’t buy the super cute typewriter! Maybe that will be a later investment.
Anyways, I don’t want to create such a strict budget that makes me feel trapped because then I don’t want to stick to it; but I can’t create a loose budget because then I’ll spend simply because I can. So, I think the best thing for me right now is not a specific budget, but more like boundaries when shopping.
AKA NO SHOPPING ALONE. I need someone to keep me focused and on task of what I need. I also plan on making lists before I go shopping so that way I’m not going in aimlessly looking around. I also want to try going shopping as little as possible. Maybe I’ll try once a week? I’ll make my list on Saturday night and go shopping on Sunday. That one might not work, but it’s worth a try! Lastly, while shopping I want to remind myself of the burden that overconsumption bears on me. I try filling a void with more stuff that ends up back in the dump and I feel guilt on so many levels.
Wish me luck (I’m gonna need it!)
Love, Meg
